![]() This contrary effect also makes sense, from a biological perspective. Long-term pair bonding takes on aspects of companionship and familiarity that can act like a cold shower for the libido. To make things more complicated, sometimes these drives can work against each other. ![]() Libido and love are not separate, but they are only loosely coupled from a neuroscience perspective. Many more people can erotically excite us than romantically appeal to us. ![]() Lifetime sexual monogamy is exceedingly rare. Most people can experience sexual arousal independently of the desire for romantic bonding. For limerents, these are the processes that make us addicted to an LO. The neuroscience of romantic desire is linked into arousal, reward seeking, and bonding, with oxytocin and vasopressin hormones getting in on the party. Certainly, in the early stages, romance is coupled to erotic desire, but emotional consummation and attachment are the primary rewards. In contrast, the romantic drive to pair bond is more long-term and more subtle than lust. In the brain, serotonin also seems to contribute to libido in some complex manner – based on the evidence that SSRI antidepressants commonly decrease libido. Libido is largely under hormonal control, with testosterone being the most obvious factor. ![]() That can be seen as the baseline level of lustiness, and the ease with which erotic desire can be stirred. ![]()
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